Helping Children Manage Big Feelings: Supporting Emotional Regulation in the Early Years

Understanding Emotional Regulation in Little Ones

We’ve all seen it, the wobbly lip, the sudden stomp, or the full-body meltdown. These are not just moments of misbehaviour, they are messages. Emotional regulation is the skill that helps children understand their feelings, express them safely, and begin to make positive choices. But here’s the truth: children aren’t born knowing how to regulate their emotions — they learn it from us.

In the early years, emotional regulation is still developing. That’s why we as adults play such a vital role. By embedding small, consistent tools and routines, we help children develop the foundation for self-awareness, resilience, and empathy.

You Don’t Have to Pick Just One Approach

When it comes to supporting emotional regulation, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution and that’s okay. In fact, using a combination of approaches creates more opportunities for children to learn through repetition, modelling and context. The more touchpoints we create, the stronger the child’s personal, social and emotional development becomes.

Practical Ways to Support Emotional Regulation

Below are a just a few strategies that nurseries may support your child’s emotional development.

1. Emotion Check-Ins During Circle Time

Circle time is more than just the weather or day of the week. It’s a safe place to ask: “How are you feeling today?”
Using feeling faces, storybooks, or soft toys to invite children to identify their emotions.

➡ Tips to support at home: Asking the same question on the car ride home or around the dinner table. Keep language simple and relatable. Try: “It’s okay to feel cross. What helps you feel better?”

2. Create a Calm Corner or Feelings Space   

A designated area helps children take ownership of their emotions.
Add soft furnishings, visual prompts (like a breathing star or calm-down bottle), and emotion-themed books.

➡ Tips to support at home: create a space at home and model how to use the space regularly, not just in moments of upset.

3. The Sun, Cloud, and Rainbow Chart

Early years children learn best with visual aids. Some nurseries use gentle tool that tracks how a child’s day is going.
• Start the day on the sun, a fresh start, every day.
• Move to the cloud for behaviour that needs a rethink (e.g., pushing, shouting).
• Provides opportunity to ‘Reflect’ and move to the rainbow for positive choices or kindness thought-out the day.

Children are always given the chance to return to the sun — teaching that mistakes are part of learning.

➡ Tips to support at home: If your nursery uses a tool like this talk to your child about it. Provide positive praise for because remained on the sun all day and create conversation to spark their ideas: “What could we do differently next time?”

4. Talk It Out Through Play and Stories 

Small world play and puppets are fantastic for acting out social situations.
Books like The Colour Monster or Ruby’s Worry open up conversations and help children make sense of big emotions.

➡ Tips to support at home: During playtime or story time at home, Ask open-ended questions like “What do you think the monster is feeling here?” or “Has that ever happened to you?”

Why It Matters: The Link to Long-Term Development

Supporting emotional regulation isn’t just about avoiding tantrums. It’s about helping children:
• Build self-confidence
• Strengthen relationships
• Engage meaningfully in learning
• Develop resilience and self-control

These aren’t just skills for the classroom, they’re skills for life.

Here are some extra Top Tips for You!

• Model your own regulation (“I feel a bit overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a deep breath.”)
• Celebrate effort, not just outcomes (“You took a big breath instead of shouting. That was amazing self-control.”)
• Don’t rush regulation — it’s learned through repetition and support, not punishment
• Use more than one strategy — the blend builds stronger connections

Final Thoughts: You’re Their Safe Place

At the heart of it all, emotional regulation starts with you. Your calm voice, your kind eyes, your patient presence — that’s what children remember. They won’t get it right every time and neither will we. But together, through consistency and care, we teach them how to cope, express, and grow.

Because every child deserves to feel understood, safe, and seen.